Tag Archives: Dating

My Mother; The Blogging “Expert”

Acquiring blog readers is hard.  Simple as that.  At times, the vast technological universe that many of us partake in can make it difficult to attract those that are the target audience you are searching for.  However, that involves you actively trying to attract an audience.  When I started this blog back in January of 2011 it was for me to share experiences that were taking place at work, at home and within my day-to-day structure.  I’ve blogged about my divorce, my job changes, working with other managers, fashion, sewing, dating, dancing, running and living with Fibromyalgia just to name a few of the most popular topics.

I started the blog as a way for me to get things off my chest that I wasn’t able to openly talk about until people started mentioning my blog.  Placing links to my blog on my personal Facebook was a way for me to share with my friends and family what I was going though.  During my marriage I lost touch with many people and have been trying to rebuild those relationships ever since.  I thought that maybe if people had an opportunity to see all the pandemonium that was going on in my brain they would understand what had been going on when we lost touch.

Outside of my circle of friends it never occurred to me that there might be others out there that are interested in hearing about my sewing projects or management techniques.  Who knew that my stories of being a 21st Century Gal would be that interesting to others?  Oh yes, that’s right…my mother!  Even at 29 it is still hard to admit that my mother is almost always right.  See what I did there with the “almost” part?  I’m sure there is something out there she might not be right about; such as biomechanical engineering or space travel.

It was my mother who started blogging before me and has shared her tips and tricks, so I guess I haven’t acquired these readers all on my own.  I might make management sound amusing, but you should see what my mom can do with the topic of cancer.  Never thought I could be laughing about cancer, but that’s how things work under her roof.  Anything and everything has the potential of being funny.  I’ll tell you what, it is rough knowing that as a teenager but quite amusing when you finally grow up and realize your parents aren’t as uncool as you once thought.

Thanks mom for sharing yet another life lesson with me.  Check out her blog, The World According to Alexandra, if you’re looking for a good laugh.  She even makes bodily functions funny instead of shamefully disgusting.  Thank you to my readers who stop back regularly.  For those of you who are just lurkers I invite you to subscribe to my blog and stick around for a bit.  There are some big changes on the horizon and I can be you won’t want to miss out on them.

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Filed under Blogging, Culture, Dance, Dating, Fashion, Female Management Skills, Friends, Parenting, Sewing, Taking Charge of One's Health

Move Over Nappytab ‘Cause We’re Coming For You

Back in the day I posted about the “Coffee Compatibility” I have with my boyfriend.  Over the last two and a half years I’ve learned there is much more that we share then just our coffee and ice cream preference.  What I most treasure is our shared love for the performing arts.  Although we’ve only once done a show together in our teenage years, I’ve had the pleasure of being able to watch him continue his love for being on the stage.

In the last handful of years I have kind of navigated away from performing myself and turned towards the behind the scenes production side of things and it has been fun to see him taking on more projects in that regard as well.  Although he does still grace the stage every once in a while, his skills in show production seem to grow more and more every year and it has been exciting to watch his journey.  Since I switched jobs last June I haven’t taken on that many side projects myself so it has been exciting to start putting myself out there again in the last few weeks.

In formatting my resumes, and yes most performers have two, I’ve come to find that I really do have a crazy background that has come together to get me to the point I am at today.  Now I’m looking towards the future with the excitement that we might actually get to work on a project together in the coming year.  Last time we were both a part of a show it was on stage, so it will be exciting to now be working together behind the scenes.

It’s been a massive transition as I moved away from someone who had no involvement in my passion for the arts to someone who shares it with me in every way possible.  We can talk shop without worrying about having to explain everything.  We can go see productions together and evaluate them as not just patrons, but those who have been on the other side as well.  It is a pleasure to respectfully bump heads with another person’s creative vision because I’m just happy that he has one!  I think our strengths and weaknesses really compliment each other and that is why I hope we continue teaming together in the future on projects since we’re already teaming together in life.

Moving into the new house in a few months will be stressful with all the projects we’re looking at tackling within the performing arts, but I’m so thankful we’ll have more floor space to rehearse in.  Coda will finally be safe when we are staging numbers without having to hide on the couch to stay out from under our feet.  It seems like each day I learn more and more about our compatibility and it makes me happy that he so persistently stuck it out with me.  He always seemed to know that this would work, but I’m elated that I’ve had the opportunity to now see it myself on so many levels.

 

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Filed under Dance, Dating

Has Anyone Seen My Timeline?

It’s no secret that going through a divorce screws up any preplanned timeline you may have had for yourself.  If you are a list person, much like I am, then you know what I’m talking about.  My list might be digital now but it’s still a list nonetheless.  It’s got the usual yearly goals one might hope to attain: get a raise, go on a vacation, save “X” amount of money for savings, etc.

Now most of those things are still doable even despite a divorce.  Well, except for maybe the one about saving spare cash if you are the one paying for the divorce as there might not be anything to spare until everything is said and done.  If you’re a gal there is a good chance that you have a dream age you hope to get married by, buy your first home by, and possibly even have children by.  I was never the type who dreamt about her wedding from a young age and knew exactly what she wanted, but with my last birthday of my 20s quickly approaching (as my lovely boyfriend pointed out over the weekend) I’ve become a little nuts about my timeline being a hot mess.

By no means do I want to rush into anything just for the sake of staying on some silly timeline I made for myself.  I am at least rational enough to know that isn’t the way to go about things.  However, I am still a gal and we all know that moments of weakness do on occasion compel us to be slightly irrational.  Last week I threatened to cancel my social networking account after yet another friend from high school announced her upcoming bundle of joy.  I am very happy for her and her husband…really!  I think they both will be fabulous parents and that is going to be one lucky baby.

Then this week yet another friend announced his proposal to his longtime girlfriend.  Another friend to be happy for…of course!  Under the post about his engagement was page after page of status updates from my younger friends about their upcoming wedding or something adorable their little angel just did.  Although the sane side of me is very happy that all of my friends seem to be in such a wonderful place in their lives, the less rational side of me slightly feels like I failed myself by not making the right decision the first time around.

Had I listened to my mother (I know she is saying “I told you so” while reading this), had I even listened to my current boyfriend as he told me he knew I was making the wrong choice, or had I let myself acknowledge any of the 5 million other red flags then maybe I wouldn’t have failed my own mental timeline.  I know to some of you out there this seems nuts, but there are others out there who know just what I am talking about.  I am lucky to be in a much better place now, with a man who I love and who treats me like gold.  I have my friends back, the support to pursue my dreams and it seems like most things are just falling into place.  Maybe it’s time to find out how to switch off that judgmental voice in my head so I can just enjoy where I am now.

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Stalking Isn’t Always Such A Bad Thing

It is so easy to find people online nowadays.  With multiple search engines and many different social networks, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that everyone has some form of an online presence.  Do you know what yours is?

In my past I have worked for organizations that allowed me to search online for information about people who were applying to work as a volunteer for us.  The first thing I would do was Google their name and then I would check their social networking pages to see what I could find out.  Were their profile pictures showing them doing things we wouldn’t want a representative of our business doing?  If so then their application was put to the side.  If their page was “clean,” or at least locked so I couldn’t see anything I shouldn’t, then they would move on to the next step in the process and still be considered.

When was the last time you stepped back and viewed the profile pages you have on the net as if you were a prospective employer?  It might be time that you take a few minutes out of your hectic schedule and make sure that what you’re putting out there is an appropriate representative of you.  One that a potential new employer would want to see.  It never hurts to take anything down that might be questionable.  If you don’t plan to change anything on your profiles, then at least consider making them private and putting them on lock down.

I have heard of more and more businesses taking the time to check people out on the net so they can get a better insight to them.  We all clean up nicely and can provide proper answers in an interview, but companies want to know it isn’t just an act.  Although they may have held you captive for 20-30 minutes in an interview, just how much can they really discover about you.  By searching online they can sometimes obtain additional information that will help move you forward or bring your application to a screeching halt.

Go ahead, cyber stalk yourself for a day.  The next time you take a moment to Google your blind date, consider that they might be doing the same to you and check yourself out for a change.  Your online presence can be a powerful part of selling yourself to a new company, so make wise decisions about what you put online and take charge about what can be seen.  After all, we all want to be seen as the perfect choice whether it is for a date or a new job so make sure your online “bios” match that image.

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Filed under Dating, Female Management Skills

It’s Called “High Efficiency” For A Reason

Reinventions are good.  Think of how far we have come with some standard items that have been reinvented through the years. Washing our clothes has gone from a rock and a creek to a high efficiency machine that uses the least amount of water, soap and energy thought to be possible with a mechanical reinvention.  Now I can turn on the washing machine, walk away and go finish another task while my clothes are cleaning.  I would say this is a positive check in the reinvention category.

You can be a reinvention of yourself.  You could wake up tomorrow and decide to change the way you do things at work and suddenly make it your purpose to be more efficient with your time.  Maybe you decide you want to reinvent yourself as someone who’s goal is to meet as many people as possible throughout your company.  As long as you commit to your reinvention, it is possible.

Think about yourself: your style of completing tasks, the way you manage those around you, how you interact with people you encounter in your professional life, etc..  Now ask yourself, “Am I ______________(fill in the blank)…completing tasks in the most efficient manner, managing with a purpose, making positive connections to help me in the future?”  If not then decide if you want to reinvent yourself or, more specifically, the way you handle something you do every day.

I have done three things to reinvent myself through the years.  For almost 20 years of my life I was some shade of blonde.  As I grew up I found that because of my friendly demeanor, laid back attitude, and physical appearance people would speak to me differently then they did others.  I began noticing it in my first few years of college.  People seemed to be surprised when I struck up an intellectually deep conversation.  Other times if I questioned something then people would start explaining the subject to me in a manner that used more concise wording and they would speak slower.  After a while I realized that from my outward persona people thought I was a ditz.  I decided it was time for a change and it would be a fun experiment.  Eight years later I am still a red head and have found that even with the same blonde demeanor I get different treatment because of the way people visually perceive me.

The second time I chose to reinvent myself was after my first year in my current position.  I have a tendency to really get emotionally connected to those who report to me.  I take stock in their lives and genuinely care.  I’m not, by any means, saying that is bad.  If it was, I would be in a load of trouble since I still continue the practice to this day.  However, I did learn that there were different ways to tackle the issue so I wouldn’t get emotionally stung by anyone taking advantage of this trait.  I took several steps back, evaluated what was occurring and moved forward with a different outlook.  I changed my way of thinking and stopped allowing myself to be personally offended as often.  It was hard but it has been a wonderful change for my sanity and style of management.  This reinvention has also led me to council the staff differently and make my choices in a slightly different manner, but still in a way that allows them to know that I still take stock in them and care.

It could be time to reinvent any area of your life.  I used this same process when it was time to take a stand and move forward with the dissolution of my marriage.  I realized that in order for me to be happy I needed to be true to myself and stand up for what I have always believed in.  I now proudly take part in the things that I love again and live each day to the fullest as I always envisioned I would.  Since my divorce I have found that I am less afraid to go out on a limb and make big life changes.  Those who are close to me they know that in the past I haven’t handled change well, but reinventing myself, taking back my maiden name and original passion for life has given me a second chance to do things differently.

I think of myself now like a Dyson vacuum cleaner.  I still have the same purpose as when I was originally invented; I just do things now in a more revolutionary way that saves time and energy.  I continue this analogy all the way through my professional life.  When seeking employment I may price myself a bit more than others, as the Dyson definitely does, but the company seeking me will more than get their return on investment.  I may not have 5 turbo charged cyclones like a Dyson, but I guarantee to be a dynamo that gets the job done better than the others I’m up against.  There’s no time like the present, so ask yourself, “Is it time for a reinvention?”

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Filed under Female Management Skills

“It’s Hip to be Square”…And Apparently Now Overly Confident And Pompous

This week’s blog is more of a “trend of the week” kind of experience.  In the last week I have gone through several moments that left me wondering when it became acceptable for people to be so overly confident that they become pompous, cocky individuals.  Is this a social trend that has occurred recently or am I just now catching up on it?

My mom sent me a link to an article about insane rider requests that stars have when they are booked for appearances.  I’ve heard rumors about stars who want you to separate their M&Ms, but now I’m seeing examples that perplex me.  If Sting or Streisand want a greenroom covered with white orchids (not saying they do) then so be it because they have had successful careers.  In Sting’s case he is still putting out CDs in this century and Barbara more than paved a fruitful path for herself through the years.

However, what is with washed up celebrities and their crazy requests?  Do they think they are the Pope?  If you are playing a generic catering convention at a local hotel one night and then a theme park the following evening, don’t complain about the accommodations at the theme park being sub-par because you’re “a star.”  Newsflash, you’re a washed up entertainer from the past that played a catering convention the night before.  I hope you were lucky enough to score some free food out of it.

Likewise, if you are a twenty-something out around town trying to convince gals that you’re the best thing since sliced bread, then realize not all of us care what you drive, wear, or dropped way too much money on earlier in the day.  Unfortunately all my experiences this week occurred with guys.  I am sure there are plenty of overly confident and pompous gals out there.  Although I wouldn’t associate myself with them, I am aware that this is not just something that guys do.  For the sake of this blog, please excuse me gentlemen while I continue to rant about your gender.

If you want to be that guy who is perched against the bar all night long with your Bentley key fob in your hand to start conversations, then so be it.  However, don’t expect the classy intelligent gals to be the one drooling over you all night.  We’ll be on the other side of the bar laughing at the girls who can’t walk in their stilettos and who are fighting over your attention.  If some guys would just open their eyes to reality they would understand that good, quality girls have different interests.

We’re not all interested in material items.  Yes, it doesn’t stink to be able to live comfortably, but you don’t need to throw it my face to get my interest.  How about you approach me and talk to me while looking me in the eyes.  I’ll tell you what, that gains a lot more of my respect and gives you better chance at a second date.  While some guys I know have proven that they clearly believe the only way to win a gal over is by pompously parading around their big ticket items.  I have recently realized that they are the ones that are always single and looking for the next Mrs. Fill-in-the-blank.

Whether you’re a washed up star from the 80s or a mid-twenties guy around town, it’s time to take a reality check.  Living the way you have thus far is why you are stuck where you are.  I think it’s time to make a change especially if either group wants respect from a 21st century gal of today.

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Maybe Men Should Ask “What Would The Fonz Do?”

I have watched multiple forms of technology evolve over my life span.  From computers to gaming systems, and even the electronics offered within a vehicle, technology keeps changing each day and it is usually for the better.  On the other hand, it seems as if the art of “wooing” took a tragic turn for the worst at some point and has almost completely disappeared.

I can now purchase a car that can drive itself, access an unlimited amount of information at the drop of a hat via the internet, and one astronaut even got to be Skyped into the delivery room to watch his wife give birth.  However, if I go out at night dressed to the nines, the best attempt at wooing I might receive from a man today is a sub-par, over-priced drink (on a good night).  Then, an offer to go onto the dance floor so he can rub up on me in front of hundreds of others with the same idea.  Someone please tell me when did men suddenly believe that wooing was a dead art form that should no longer be used?

Within the last year I discovered that there are still a few gentlemen out there that know how to court and woo a gal.  “How?” you might ask.  My boyfriend patiently courted me and pulled out all the stops on his journey of winning me over.  Even in my jaded, post-failed marriage state he managed to make me realize that this is an experience all women should get to go through.   Forget accepting a guy as “perfect,” (and I use that term very loosely) just because he opened one door at some point on your first date.  Screw that!  Have someone open EVERY door he beats you to-for over a year.  It shouldn’t just be something that occurs on first dates or Valentine’s Day.  It’s time that women expect more because it is what we traditionally give back to those we are interested in.

Think of it this way, when people wanted to boycott the oil leak in the gulf, they stopped using BP’s services until the leak was stopped.  Customers saw the reaction they wanted from the company.  Why not try that on today’s men?  Seriously!  Boycott their bad habits and behaviors.  They shouldn’t have what they want until they are willing to give us what we deserve.

You want guys to wear their jeans so that we don’t have to see their boxers hanging out?  You want men to put the effort into a relationship that we do?  You want a man to make you feel special and woo you into dating him?  Just stop accepting less as being all right.  Saggy drawers wouldn’t be a trend if women swore off men who dressed in this manner.  Crappy relationships wouldn’t exist if we didn’t let them continue on in that manner; hence my divorce.  Men would learn how to court women again if that was what it took for them to earn a spot in our lives.  It’s what Wally and the Beav had to do, so why should it be any different now?

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Filed under Dating