Would I Rather Be A Pickle Jar Opener?

I direct this towards other professional women in their late 20’s and early 30’s, as I know I cannot be the only one feeling this strain.  Why is there not enough time to do everything we feel we need to accomplish?  Think about it; from our undergraduate graduation date we have approximately 8 – 9 years to obtain a job, move up the ladder as quickly as we can, be a dedicated worker so that before we are 30 we can achieve a high level of success.  This is all so that we can relax a bit and have children, as our career is secure.  Two things are wrong with this: 1.) We see having children as being a “relaxing” option as compared to how hard we work in the workforce and 2.) We are trying to achieve a lifetime of career success in under a decade so that we can stay equal to our male counterparts.

Ordinarily I am not the kind of gal to walk around with picket signs touting women’s inequality, however this is something that has driven me to speak up.  I am finding I am one of many women who hope to be married and able to have a child around the 30-year mark in her life.  I am also finding I am one of many with parents who brought us into the world during their early 30’s or at younger ages and now, keep saying there is no rush to have children.  Maybe all the crazy studies doctors are doing about women having children from 30 years old and upward don’t frighten our parents because we are already here and there is no need for them to be frightened by these reports.  However, my friends and I find ourselves feeling very different about this.

It seems every day that the risk of giving birth each year past 30 keeps rising.  Brain damage, rare diseases, muscular irregularities, and organ deformation are all topics of threats for children born each year a woman waits after 35 to have children.  However, if you are planning on having more than just one child, the only way to give birth to all your future offspring before hitting the magic number of 35 is to (for lack of a better phrase) squeeze them out almost back-to-back from the day you turn 30.  This is WAY too much pressure.  Oh, did I mention how much time that means a woman will have to step away from her career if she wants to not have her children raised in a daycare or by strangers?

This brings me back to my earlier point.  Now can you see why I say women have between 8 and 9 years to achieve almost a lifetime of workforce success before it is time to focus on family?  Why isn’t this information handed to us in some kind of a “Women’s Handbook for World Domination.”  Why do we have to stumble across it when we are reaching our late 20’s and only have a few years left to put all the pieces into place?  This is clearly one of those important topics I should have been brainwashed with at an earlier age.

While you run around trying to make everything happen while looking cool, calm and collected, try not to look at your male counterpart with such disdain because you know he has plenty of time to achieve all his desires.  After all, it isn’t his fault he ended up male.  Without his half of the species we wouldn’t be able to have children, more women would have to learn how to change their own oil, and some of us would never be able to eat another pickle again as those pesky jars can be impossible to open at times.  Although it seems at times as if being a pickle jar opening male would be easier, I like the challenges that each day brings.

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One response to “Would I Rather Be A Pickle Jar Opener?

  1. I should have told you, I have one of the rare copies of “Woman’s Handbook for World Domination”. The Chapter on “Squirting Out Offspring” comes right after the Chapter on “Finding the Right Guy for Spawning”. But in my copy many of the pages were missing from the ‘spawning’ chapter, so I didn’t want to mislead you. Oopsy!

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