Coffee Compatibility

What is a deal breaker in a relationship?  Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this topic.  People in their early 20’s will ramble off reasons like “he wears black crew socks with white Italian loafers and shorts,” or “she talks to her cats like they are children.”  People in their late 20’s and early 30’s have deeper answers such as “he has disgusting habits that I can’t see myself living with forever,” or “she is too high maintenance so it will never work long term.”  It is amusing how those a bit older are not looking for someone to date, but instead a mate.  So the deal breakers are more set in stone.

I didn’t think I had deal breakers…until I got divorced at the age of 27.  What are my deal breakers now?  Someone who wants me to be their mother; those who use illegal substances to forget about their responsibilities; guys who leave their towel on the bathroom floor; anyone who still has the mentality that the house should only be cleaned by me since I am female; alcoholics, smokers…the list could go on for quite a while.

The one thing I never considered is what would be a deal sealer.  What screams ‘hang onto this person as your future together could be very promising’?  Maybe dating would be less depressing if this is how women viewed it.  Don’t rule out everything that bugs you but instead seek those items that are important.  Is something as small as coffee compatibility enough to marry someone?  Unless you own Starbucks, probably not.  However, is it enough to consider dating someone or to potentially consider sharing a home with?  Maybe not for some, but after my divorce I decided it was time to try things differently.

Being 27, and already having been married once, I was torn between swearing off dating completely and a natural need to find a mate.  However, in my life coffee compatibility was enough for me to decide to move in with someone I had stayed in contact with off and on since I was 16.  Why the heck not?  If I wasn’t ready to date him then at least we shared a love for Santa’s White Christmas coffee from Barnie’s.  Obviously my traditional ways of dating didn’t work out the first time around, so I figured it was time to throw caution to the wind.

I wouldn’t recommend this tactic to everyone.  On the other hand, for those of you who haven’t been married, it may make you realize your deal breakers and deal sealers.  So, is coffee compatibility your deal breaker or deal sealer?



Filed under Dating

5 responses to “Coffee Compatibility

  1. A love letter in blog form. I like it. And I agree. My deal sealer was a whisper…”get the dog”.

  2. Miss Megan

    love this! its so true…

    when I was in high school—
    –deal breakers were: socks with sandals, L.L. Bean backpacks, if they had a girlfriend, had dated one of my friends, or if they considered chess an actual sport…
    –deal sealers were: had a car, played a REAL sport, wore white sunglasses, and had a job…

    when I was in college:
    –deal breakers were: socks with sandals, L.L. Bean backpacks, didn’t have a car, had a girlfriend and/or a boyfriend, or wore white sunglasses (they stopped being cool in highschool)…
    –deal sealers were: tattoos, had a car, actually went to class, had a job, didn’t have room mates…

    now that I’m in my mid 20s (this is the 1st time ive actually admitted that fact):
    –deal breakers are: liars, cheaters, has a girlfriend/boyfriend AND/OR wife, white sunglasses, socks with sandals and of course, L.L. Bean backpacks…
    –deal sealers are: has a car AND a job, doesn’t have room mated and is SINGLE!
    SO at this point… I’m sure you’ve noticed a trend… SEALERS have always been stability factors (job, car, SINGLE, etc) and BREAKERS have always been poor life choices (socks with sandals, white sunglasses after age 17, and of course, L.L. Bean backpacks)…

    BUT never having been married, it’s obvious I’m WAY too picky…

  3. i feel like i need to give u a wordpress hug lol this is absolutely incredible!!!! being divorced at 22 blows and you’re right….ive thought about saying “screw this” all the time…but its time to look at the positive and think “deal sealers” : ) love love love this blog

  4. Pingback: Move Over Nappytab ‘Cause We’re Coming For You | A 21st Century Gal

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